Stop judging and pointing the finger because it will always be pointing back at you. There is nothing purer than a dog's love for a master, even if that master is an asshole who treats him like shit. The notion of pure love is bullshit anyway -- love always comes with strings attached, it can't be any other way. Love is not free -- it cost your mother her sleep and her sanity trying to make sure you had enough food in your stomach and a roof over your head. Love is not free, and when you give it away you are actually creating more love for yourself because now there's more to go around -- see how easy this is? You're welcome."If you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all."
I'm in love with the idea of being in love. I think about what falling in love will be like and I get excited even though I've never been in a relationship before. What's so great about being in love anyway? How much time do people spend trying to find the right person to fall in love with when they could be out having fun or doing literally anything else instead? All these people talking about wanting to fall in love but if you ask them what they're doing tonight they'll tell you that they have other plans or nothing at all going on, no plans at all except hoping that maybe someone special might just happen to show up even though there might be literally zero chance of that happening ever under any circumstances no matter how hard you try or what kind of events or parties you attend hoping against hope even though it's totally pointless because obviously only an idiot would expect something like that to happen -- see what I mean about how we're total idiots when it comes to relationships? We place so much stock into finding the right person, as if somehow their presence will validate our own existence on some higher cosmic level, almost as if they were a creator who created us out of thin air and now we owe them our eternal servitude until death do us part forever amen.
I know this isn't true, but sometimes it feels like everyone is looking for their soulmate except me because my standards are too high (too picky) and also because I'm afraid of letting someone get too close (afraid of getting hurt). Sometimes I think that maybe my whole life has been leading up towards this moment where finally I'll find the right person who will bring me happiness and validation (true unconditional acceptance), but then other times it feels like my whole life has been leading up towards this moment where finally nobody will care about my opinion anymore and instead only worry about their own needs without regard for mine whatsoever (true unconditional rejection).
This paradox makes me feel trapped -- nobody cares enough about me yet everybody cares way too much about themselves; nobody loves me yet everybody loves themselves; everybody puts themselves first yet nobody thinks twice before putting somebody else down; everybody wants something from somebody else yet nobody thinks twice before giving something away; everybody focuses on himself first without regard for others' needs ever again despite knowing deep down inside that nothing truly exists outside of time except maybe abstract ideas such as goodness and beauty; etc., etc., etc.. Maybe true freedom comes from loving yourself enough not to need anybody else's validation anymore -- after all, you are the only person who will ever truly be with you all the way until your heart stops and your body goes cold. Nobody else can see inside of your head, nobody else knows exactly how you feel on any given moment, nobody else even has access to his or her own feelings half the time -- there's no way for them to know what it's like to be you, no matter how hard they try. Love doesn't exist between two separate people anyway -- love is a solitary emotion that gets projected onto others by mistake due to our limited capacity for understanding abstract concepts such as empathy and compassion. Imagine if I tried my hardest but still couldn't understand or imagine what it was like to be an ant because ants are so small and simple-minded compared to humans. Solipsism isn't real only because we can never truly know another person's subjective experience -- we have no idea what it's really like on the inside, where one person's emotions collide with another in a totally unique way that cannot ever again be replicated just like every snowflake is different from every other snowflake even though they're both made out of essentially the same elements (water vapor condensed over time into tiny crystalline structures).
The truth is that it doesn't really matter if someone loves me back because love isn't real anyway; instead I should focus on loving myself enough not to need anybody else's validation in order find true freedom instead of being beholden forevermore to somebody who might not even reciprocate my feelings in any way whatsoever (it wouldn't make sense for them too since they don’t share my exact thoughts or emotions either). This is why dating seems stupid at first glance: Why would somebody go through all this trouble trying their hardest just so they can maybe find somebody new they could potentially fall in love with? Why would anybody put themselves through so much emotional turmoil over something that probably won’t happen anyway? It’s absurd! No wonder everybody seems miserable when they talk about relationships -- nothing brings more unhappiness than misplaced expectations about things beyond our control (love, sex, etc.).
It’s better not expect anything from anybody else except maybe their basic courtesy and respect as human beings capable of independent thought and action; treat them as equals capable of choice based upon free will without regard for pressure from outside forces such as societal norms or parental expectations; let them choose their own path while finding contentment in whatever happens next without attachment; etc., etc., etc.. The most helpful thing I ever did was stop expecting people around me to act certain ways based on stereotypes or other cultural norms; now I treat everyone equally unless given reason otherwise because everybody deserves equal respect regardless of gender identity, race, ethnicity, class background/income level/education level/etc., disability status (mental illness), sexual orientation, or anything else.
You might be surprised how much better the world becomes when you stop expecting people to conform to cultural norms and instead treat them as equals capable of choosing their own paths in life without interference from outside forces like society telling them what they should do or who they should be; suddenly everybody on Earth is a lot more equal than ever before because there’s no longer any reason for judgement based on stereotypes, labels, or other cultural norms that often cause people to feel trapped in their current position with no way out except through drastic measures such as self-harm, drug abuse, depression and anxiety disorders, etc..
I remember once trying very hard to connect with somebody only for them never to bother responding until finally I gave up and stopped caring anymore; afterward I felt so sad because it was obvious that they didn’t care enough about me to even bother replying so why should I care about them at all anymore? The burden of expectation can sometimes be too much for even the strongest of relationships -- nobody wants to constantly feel pressure from outside sources telling them how they should act or who they should be otherwise known as “the right way” in order for you both to stay together forevermore amen. This is why we sometimes just need space without anybody else’s input -- too many voices can make us feel trapped inside our own heads unable move without trampling somebody else’s feelings in the process.
The answer isn't expecting other people not judge you based on your actions but instead judging yourself based entirely upon your actions only which means you are free not only from external judgement but also internal self-judgement at the same time (you are whatever you say you are). You don't need anybody else's approval anymore because now it's easier than ever before seeing yourself as an equal capable of doing whatever it takes achieve your goals without regard for social pressure saying otherwise. Nobody judges themselves based on what others think of their daily habits (what do people think when I eat dinner?) -- see how easy this is? You just decide that now you're going to do things differently than before and then commit yourself fully until completion; after all if nobody notices then does it really matter what others think anyway? It doesn’t matter what other people think about your goals either, including potential romantic interests -- if someone doesn't like me then fine at least now I know where we stand instead of spending my life wondering whether or not maybe someday this person might love me back after all despite knowing deep down inside that nothing exists beyond linear time except abstract ideas such as beauty and goodness..
It turns out that this is actually a lot easier than I thought it would be -- deciding exactly who I want myself and my goals to become seems pretty straightforward compared with worrying over whether another person will choose me back or not. If somebody doesn't like me then fine whatever at least now I know where we stand instead of spending my life wondering whether or not maybe someday this person might love me back after all despite knowing deep down inside that nothing exists beyond linear time except abstract ideas such as beauty and goodness..
I’m tired of trying so hard to be what other people think I should be instead of choosing a different path without regard for their opinions in the first place. This is the key -- deciding exactly who you want yourself and your goals to become before allowing others' criticisms or judgements to hold any sway over your choices whatsoever; otherwise known as “pride” (being true to yourself no matter how much external pressure exists against doing so); otherwise known as “love for yourself” (knowing with complete certainty what you deserve in relationships, work, etc.).
There are two ways through which we can achieve freedom: One is by changing ourselves based upon what others think we should be, the other is by changing ourselves based upon our own internal goals without regard for external expectations.